If This Was A Movie
by Little-bit-of-auslly
Summary: Ally looks back on the last 6 months without Austin. Remembers the break-up, cries and wishes she could redo those last months. Song Fic/One Shot. Removed lyrics. I suck at summaries, give it a go though.


**If This Was A Movie**

**This got deleted so I'm republishing it now. I hope you like it. **

It's been six months since Austin and I broke up, it was all my fault I pushed him away and wouldn't let him back. He tried to begin with but then he just stopped no calls, no texts, no letters, no notes, nothing. Last night I was sitting in the living room of my apartment and I thought I heard footsteps or a knock at my door or something, anything but when I went to the door no one was there. I guess it must've been my heartbeat or something since I live on the top floor and the apartment across from me is empty. I knew he wouldn't have been there, I don't know why I bother anymore.

I was looking through our old pictures, the ones of me and Austin on the beach, in the practise room, at Dez and Trish's house, yeah, they got together, bought a house, Dez is planning on asking her to marry him, I wish that was me and Austin. I was looking through all his old performances that Dez filmed and the songs that I wrote, every single one has a specific memory that's triggered when I hear it. 'The Way That You Do' when I felt like no one appreciated me, 'Can't Do It Without You' when I was moving to New York, 'Don't Look Down' when I filled in for Taylor Swift at Jimmy Starr's Halloween party and the best one 'I Think About You' when he looked through my book before we got together and sang it to my in front of everyone in Sonic Boom. Maybe I need to move on, when we were together a minute seemed like an hour and an hour like a day but now it's different, time seems just as long but I'm not happy, it's painful really.

I had this dream that he came back, just like it is in the movies. He stood outside my bedroom window, in the middle of the street, the rain pouring. Him shouting my name at the top of his lungs. When I woke up and I realised it was a dream, I just broke down. Curled up in bed crying into my pillow, wishing it was all real.

I didn't mention I shut him out because I caught him kissing another girl at a party, I know stupid, if I had just talked to him and let him explain, heard out his apology. Things would have worked out we were just like that-we could argue then make up within an hour. I don't know what was different this time. If he really wanted me back and my dream was a reality it would have happened a long time ago.

I know he could have changed and I know it was just one stupid drunken mistake but that had never happened before. When we were 16 that never would have happened, it was us against the world, hanging out in the Sonic Boom with his arms around me with Trish and Dez arguing over something stupid. Trish had a boyfriend then and he treated her like a princess and Dez well he just wasn't interested in girls. They started going out and no one seen it coming but they were perfect for each other. Nothing like would ever happen to them.

Now all I do is pace the hall, waiting for a call, a text, anything. I even walked to his house once- he still lives with his parents. I got halfway down the street and turned back. Then there was that night when we were 17 and we were on the beach looking up at the moon and he whispered in my ear. "Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you", that's what hurts the most the fact that he had said that and I still let him go. Now that I have, I realise I never wanted to lose him, I didn't want to ignore him, I didn't want for things to end the way they did and I certainly didn't want to lose my bestfriend, boyfriend and maybe even soulmate.

I hate that dream, I've had it at least 10 times in the last month, why did I have to be so stupid to get an idea like that in my mind. Now it's never gonna leave, it's just gonna haunt me in my sleep.

If he said sorry, if I didn't ignore him, everything would be perfect, like it never happen but it's not and it's never gonna be. 'Cause if it was it would have happened a long time ago.

I want him to be happy, I want him to find someone that won't push him away like I did. But at the same time I don't, I want him to be back with me. I've waited everyday for the last 5 months for him to come back. I want us to be hanging out with Trish and Dez as two couples. I want him to come to my door and say he was stupid and drunk at the party, and so I could say I was an idiot for ever ignoring him and not hearing him out sooner.

I had asked him to say that he didn't want to kiss that girl at the party, that it meant nothing. He came out with 'It's not that easy'. Then there was a fight and I locked him out of the apartment, I wish I didn't, I didn't mean anything I said during that fight, I wish I had just got him to sleep on the couch like any normal girlfriend does but no I have to kick him out and tell him to never come back. I really didn't mean that.

I wish he were her right now standing in the rain throwing stones at my window until I came outside. But this isn't a movie.

If we both just said sorry then we would be fine, I can't live without him, he's like oxygen to me. Everything would work out if we both just said sorry. But if that was gonna happen it would have happened a long time ago.

I never wanted it to end like this-it's meant to be a happy ending. No relationship should end the way ours did. I thought he would have fought for me, I thought we had something worth fighting for, why didn't we both fight for it then?

I thought we would have fought until we could fight together. I thought you'd be here fighting for me. I guess you never know what you've got until it's gone.

**This is a repost of the story with the lyrics removed before it got deleted again and my account possibly got suspended or whatever...**


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